by J.D. Summers
M/M Contemporary
Available from amazon
Blurb:
Hendly is a submissive college boy who is looking for love. He thinks that Randy is his soul mate. Unfortunately, Randy is not yet ready to commit to a relationship. He plays with Hendly's emotions and treats him like a sex object. Armed with a broken heart, Hendly reaches out to his ex, Matt, who shows him the passionate delights of the city. However, Hendly soon discovers that not all that glitters is gold.
Excerpt:
Randy followed me into the elevator. Once inside, we remained silent. Once inside my room, we both sat on the bed. I had to conquer every nerve in my body to prevent myself from jumping him right then and there. Instead, I pretended that I didn’t care whether he was there or not. This time, I found the silence to be quite tolerable.
He was the one to start the conversation. “I am sorry,” he said softly.
“Sorry for what?” I had the upper hand on him this time and I planned to use it to my full advantage. All unsaid things had to be said now and for all. I wasn’t going to beg for anyone to love me.
“I am sorry about the other night,” he responded after a few moments.
“It does not matter. What is done is done. It’s not that important,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. He looked at me as if I had sent a knife through his heart. I didn’t want to be as hasty yet to think that he actually cared for me.
“Don’t be like that. It is important to me.” I could see the sorrow in his eyes. But I was smarter than that. Looking sorrowful didn’t make his apology genuine.
“Why?” I asked.
I was reeling him in. There was no way I was letting him off the hook that easily.
At this point, he could no longer remain seated. He got up and headed for the door, then changed his mind. He began to pace up and down my small dorm room, like a mad man.
“I have tried to fight it for too long, but I can’t do it any longer. This is driving me crazy. You are driving me crazy. Please stop ignoring me.”
My plan had worked! He was admitting how he felt. The roles were reversed and it made me feel powerful. He was feeling how I felt before. The sweet taste of revenge trickled through every vein in my body.
“But I thought that was what you wanted. I was only trying to do what you asked me to do. I was just…being respectful of your wishes. You used to get really upset with me whenever I would try to speak with you at class. I don’t even know if you want me to speak to you anywhere on this campus. Now don’t blame me if I got sick and tired of you using me and discarding me like a rag.” My voice had risen slightly towards the end of my statement and I was sure he was fully aware, now, that I was getting angry. He had some nerve!
“Tell me what you want me to do. Anything. And I would do it. I promise.” Randy sounded so desperate. I had him eating out the palm of my hands.
Several thoughts swirled around inside my head. I believed that he really meant to keep his promise. I had some conditions I wanted to make, but then again, I also wanted a relationship. While it was true that he would have done anything to be with me, he might eventually end up resenting me if I made any excessive demands. I had to think it through carefully. I knew that, at the end of it all, I didn’t want to use him, like he had done to me before. I wanted a lover whom I could respect and who could respect me in return. I wanted love, not just a lustful surrender.
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