Book Spotlight, Excerpt, and
Giveaway
For Drama
Luau, the
fourth novel in Joe Cosentino’s Nicky and Noah mystery series
DRAMA LUAU (a Nicky and
Noah mystery)
a
comedy/mystery/romance novel by JOE COSENTINO
Theater
professors and spouses, Nicky Abbondanza and Noah Oliver, are on
their honeymoon at a Hawaiian resort, where musclemen in grass skirts
are keeling over like waterfalls. Things erupt faster than a volcano
when Nicky and Noah, along with their best friends Martin and Ruben,
try to stage a luau show. Nicky and Noah will need to use their drama
skills to figure out who is bringing the grass curtain down on male
hula dancers—before things go coconuts for the handsome couple. You
will be applauding and shouting Bravo for Joe Cosentino’s
fast-paced, side-splittingly funny, edge-of-your-seat entertaining
fourth novel in this delightful series. Curtain up and aloha!
Praise
for DRAMA QUEEN, the first Nicky and Noah mystery by Joe Cosentino
from Lethe Press (Divine
Magazine’s Readers’ Choice Award for Favorite LGBT Mystery,
Humorous, Contemporary Novel of 2015):
“This
fast-paced, hilariously funny, entertaining novel will have you on
the edge of your seat as you try to figure out who-dun-it!”
Joyfully Jay
Praise
for DRAMA MUSCLE, the second Nicky and Noah mystery by Joe Cosentino
from Lethe Press (Rainbow Award Honorable Mention):
“reading
these books is like watching a fabulous comedic, murder mystery,
action, adventure, romantic film.” “I was giggle snorting and
laughing so much I had to stop reading. Joe Cosentino's writing is
absolutely flawless. He's a master storyteller and will keep you
guessing and utterly riveted until Drama Muscle's highly satisfying
ending. This is an absolute gem of a book, and series.” Divine
Magazine
Praise
for DRAMA CRUISE, the third Nicky and Noah mystery by Joe Cosentino
from Lethe Press:
“Joe
Cosentino
does it again with Drama
Cruise, the
third Nicky and Noah mystery. I loved the humor, drama, and theater
work inside. Plus, the romance and murder investigation keep readers
turning the pages. Absolutely, must read this latest book in the
series.” Urban
Book Reviews
Bestselling
author Joe Cosentino was voted Favorite Mystery, Humorous, and
Contemporary Author of 2015 by the readers of Divine Magazine for
Drama Queen.
He also wrote the other novels in the Nicky and Noah mystery series:
Drama Muscle
(Rainbow Award Honorable Mention) and Drama
Cruise (Lethe Press), Drama
Luau; In My Heart/An
Infatuation & A
Shooting Star (Rainbow Award
Honorable Mention), A Home for
the Holidays, The
Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland
(Dreamspinner Press); Cozzi Cove:
Bouncing Back (TBR Pile Book of
the Month/Rainbow Award Honorable Mention),
Cozzi Cove: Moving Forward, Cozzi
Cove: Stepping Out, Cozzi
Cove: New Beginnings Cozzi Cove
series (NineStar Press); Paper
Doll, Porcelain
Doll, Satin
Doll, China
Doll, Rag
Doll (The Wild Rose Press) Jana
Lane mysteries; and The
Nutcracker and the Mouse King
(Eldridge Plays and Musicals).
He has appeared in principal acting
roles in film, television, and theatre, opposite stars such as Bruce
Willis, Rosie O’Donnell, Nathan Lane, Holland Taylor, and Jason
Robards. His one-act plays, Infatuation
and Neighbor,
were performed in New York City. He wrote The
Perils of Pauline educational
film (Prentice Hall Publishers). Joe is currently Head of the
Department/Professor at a college in upstate New York, and is happily
married. Joe was voted 2nd
Place for Best MM Author of the Year in Divine Magazine’s Readers’
Choice Awards for 2015! Coming next: Drama
Detective, the fifth Nicky and
Noah mystery.
Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/JoeCosentinoauthor
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JoeCosen
Amazon:
Author.to/JoeCosentino
Excerpt of Drama
Luau, Nicky
and Noah mystery, by Joe Cosentino
The olive-skinned, barefooted
muscular men wore loincloths (malo), coconut necklaces, shell
bracelets and anklets, and flower (lei) head garlands. With the
powerful emerald mountain behind them, the dancers (‘olapa)
aerobically executed hand signs, knee sways, and foot stomps toward
the turquoise sea (makai), as their deep, full voices chanted to the
goddess of the ocean (Namakaokahai). The lead dancer (alakai) and the
dance captain (kumu) moved front and center executing their tree in
the breeze hand gestures. The dancer helper (kokua) made gestures to
the ocean waves behind them.
“Stop!”
The ‘ukulele, steel guitar,
and bass accompaniment ended. The dancers slouched and looked toward
the rows of tables and chairs facing them.
“Kimu, stand further
upstage.”
“Nicky, they don’t know
what upstage and downstage mean.”
“Thanks, Noah. Kimu, stand
behind
the other dancers, so Kal and Ak are the focus of the dance.”
That was me, Nicky Abbondanza,
Associate Professor of Directing at Treemeadow College, an Edwardian
style private college in the quaint state of Vermont. My husband and
the love of my life, Assistant Professor of Acting at Treemeadow,
Noah Oliver, is by my side, right where I like him. Why am I
directing a luau show at the Maui Mist Resort in Hawaii? Our
honeymoon in Maui was a gift from our parents. But when the customers
of my parents’ bakery in Kansas became glucose intolerant, and the
clientele of Noah’s parents’ dairy farm in Wisconsin found
themselves lactose intolerant, Noah and I were left tolerating the
bill. So my department head and his husband hit the internet and
found this luau show directing job, which came with free airfare,
hotel, and food for two. Enticed by the gorgeous tropical location
and the gorgeous luau dancers, Martin Anderson, Professor of Theatre
Management at Treemeadow College, and Ruben Markinson, director of
one of the top gay rights organizations in the country, decided to
tag along and keep us out of trouble. Since Martin and Ruben are our
best friends, that was more than fine with Noah and me.
Since you can’t see us, I am
thirty-six, tall, with dark hair, green eyes, a Roman nose, cleft
chin and long sideburns. Thanks to the gym at Treemeadow College
(named after Tree and Meadow, the gay couple who founded it), I am
pretty muscular. One minor thing. Actually, it’s pretty major. I
have a nine and-a-quarter by two-inch penis, which causes Noah to
tell everyone we are “going clubbing” when we have sex.
Noah is handsome with wavy
blond hair, crystal-blue eyes, porcelain skin, and hotter and sweeter
buns than any found in my dad’s bakery. Martin is short, thin, and
bald. As an incredible gossip, he resembles an alien looking for a
good piece of news to bring back to his home planet. Ruben is tall,
thin, distinguished-looking, with salt and pepper hair and two large
eyes watching over Martin. Though Ruben would never admit it, like
his husband, Ruben revels in the dish too.
I said to the dancers, “The
opening (ho’i) number will be fine. Let’s move on.”
Whereas the first dance was an
introduction to the dancers, the second number, in honor of the
creation gods (Kane and Lono), is a sensual dance, where the muscular
dancers get to flex, grunt, and gyrate.
Sitting next to me at the
front table opposite the stage, Noah rested a hand on my knee. “Did
my character work with the dancers pay off?”
I nodded. “They all seem
like characters to me.”
Noah squeezed my hand as the
five dancers came on stage, now wearing grass skirts. Kal (short for
Kalani), at twenty-five, is tall, strikingly handsome, muscular, the
leader of the pack, and he knows it. Ak (Akamu), at thirty-five, was
once the stallion of the troupe, but a receded hairline and wrinkles
had transformed Ak to dance captain. As leaders, Kal and Ak take
focus in the dance numbers, either dancing downstage center or up
center on the platform in the shape of a volcano. Pretty ironic since
Kal and Ak are ex-lovers and ex-friends.
Current lovers Keanu (dancer
helper), at medium height with a growing paunch, and Ahe, young,
small, and cute as a button, took their places midstage and looked at
each other adoringly.
Finally, Kimu, at medium
height with a bull dog face and protruding belly, stood farthest
upstage. The only straight member of the troupe, Kimu, said, “Are
you girls ready to dance?”
Keanu left his lover, Ahe, and
approached Kimu. “What a surprise, Kimu. Liquor on your breath.”
Leader Kal added, “Yeah,
Kimu, during the last number you were wavering more than the palm
trees near the stage fan.”
Kimu answered, "Hey Kal,
is it true that you gave Keanu a pity lei?"
These guys are worse than
the divas I work with in the theatre.
“Can we please start the number?”
Giveaway:
Post a comment about why you love gay mysteries. The one that tickles
our little gray cells the most will win an audiobook of Drama Queen,
the first Nicky and Noah mystery, by Joe Cosentino, performed by
Michael Gilboe, published by Lethe Press.
https://www.amazon.com/Drama-Queen-Nicky-Noah-Mystery/dp/B012O702CW
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